Entry of May 26, 2006
This has been the longest five months of my life. Learning a new language isn't easy at all. There were times that I was almost giving up, and didn't wanna go to class at all. But when I think of the main reason why I applied to this course, it takes me back to my senses, and steps on the breaks again.
Today (26th of May) was the final exams for the basic course. A 20 minute oral exams that I think I did well at, an hour long sentence building, fill in the blanks and grammar, and 2 hours long text comprehension and essay. First 2, I am really confident that I did well, and my grade will probably be at least more than the passing grade (1.5). But in sentence building and essay, I sooo feel I will fail. 2.5 is the highest possible grade that a first grader like me can get.
Fast forward: I received my grades June 6th, and guess what??? I more than passed. I got a 2- which I didn't even expect I will get. I am very happy and quite impressed.
I failed only one, the text comprehension, but thats fine, coz Toni is just a phone call away if I need to ask any translations, Nyahahaha! The most incredible was that I got a perfect score in Understanding speech, and of course, Orals!!! (yeah, yeah, shut your mouth) C'mon the subject was food. If you really are my friend, you'd know that this is my fave subject!
So to reward myself, a bottle of Spanish wine, ESTOLA... cheers! Or I should say KIPPIS!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Biyahe tayo...
Entry of March 23, 2006
I hope you find time to check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/w/Byahe-Tayo!?v=8awwGeJioW0
For my non-Filipino readers, this is a Music Video created by top Filipino musicians to encourage people to travel around the Philippines.
I will try to translate:
Ka Freddie: Are you lonely, impatient and bored?
Sharon C.: Are you getting tired of working day and night?
Ka Freddie: Is your life meaningless, no fun, no color?
Sharon C.: Is everyday the same, nothing seems to change?
Janno G.: C'mon, let's travel together with the family
Ogie A.: With friends, the whole group, enjoy to the fullest.
Jolina M.: C'mon, let's travel for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Sharon C.: Have you visited Intramuros and Luneta?
Rey Valera: Palawan, Vigan and Batanes?
Subic, Baguio and the Rice Terraces?
Have you looked at the vinta's in Zamboanga?
Sharon C.: Mt. Taal, Mt. Mayon, Beaches of Boracay and La Union
C'mon, let's travel, from Basco to Jolo
Apo H.S.: For us to know well our countrymen
C'mon, let's travel, for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Francis M.: From city to city, seven thousand and a hundred
plus islands, In my beloved Philippines, Luzon,
Vizasayas and Mindanao, let's visit.
Don't be a tourist in your own country.
April Boy: Have you tried kayaking on Pagsanjan?
Jessa Z.: To dive in Anilao, and surfing at Siargao?
Rico P.: Have you tasted the sisig of Pampanga
Jessa Z.: Durian from Davao, Milkfish from Dagupan,
Bicol express and Lechon from Balayan?
C'mon, let's travel, to help out somehow
And lift the economy of our people.
C'mon, let's travel, for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Have you joined the Pahiyas and Maskara?
Moriones, Ati-atihan, Sinulog and Kadayawan?
Lea S.: Have you celebrated the feast of Peñafrancia in
Naga? Walked up to Antipolo or danced in Obando?
C'mon, let's travel, for us to reach
Happiness and Friendship, Success and Peace.
C'mon, let's travel, for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Oh yes!!! I miss home.
I hope you find time to check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/w/Byahe-Tayo!?v=8awwGeJioW0
For my non-Filipino readers, this is a Music Video created by top Filipino musicians to encourage people to travel around the Philippines.
I will try to translate:
Ka Freddie: Are you lonely, impatient and bored?
Sharon C.: Are you getting tired of working day and night?
Ka Freddie: Is your life meaningless, no fun, no color?
Sharon C.: Is everyday the same, nothing seems to change?
Janno G.: C'mon, let's travel together with the family
Ogie A.: With friends, the whole group, enjoy to the fullest.
Jolina M.: C'mon, let's travel for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Sharon C.: Have you visited Intramuros and Luneta?
Rey Valera: Palawan, Vigan and Batanes?
Subic, Baguio and the Rice Terraces?
Have you looked at the vinta's in Zamboanga?
Sharon C.: Mt. Taal, Mt. Mayon, Beaches of Boracay and La Union
C'mon, let's travel, from Basco to Jolo
Apo H.S.: For us to know well our countrymen
C'mon, let's travel, for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Francis M.: From city to city, seven thousand and a hundred
plus islands, In my beloved Philippines, Luzon,
Vizasayas and Mindanao, let's visit.
Don't be a tourist in your own country.
April Boy: Have you tried kayaking on Pagsanjan?
Jessa Z.: To dive in Anilao, and surfing at Siargao?
Rico P.: Have you tasted the sisig of Pampanga
Jessa Z.: Durian from Davao, Milkfish from Dagupan,
Bicol express and Lechon from Balayan?
C'mon, let's travel, to help out somehow
And lift the economy of our people.
C'mon, let's travel, for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Have you joined the Pahiyas and Maskara?
Moriones, Ati-atihan, Sinulog and Kadayawan?
Lea S.: Have you celebrated the feast of Peñafrancia in
Naga? Walked up to Antipolo or danced in Obando?
C'mon, let's travel, for us to reach
Happiness and Friendship, Success and Peace.
C'mon, let's travel, for us to see
The beauty of the Philippines
The greatness of the Filipino
Oh yes!!! I miss home.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Mom?
Mom! Yes this is my mom. I can't ever explain what kind of a mom she is, but she is definitely cool. She isn't a typical born in the 40's kinda mom, but she is the Japorms kind. She can put on her raggedy clothes and go to the dangerous parts of Divisoria, and can carry herself so well, wearing couture gown for a wedding in San Antonio church at the Forbes. Why am I on the subject of mom? Coz I just got the lyrics to Carrie Underwoods song, "Don't forget to remember me". And I admit, it brought me to tears. Although we didn't have a chevy, and I didn't go to an out-of-town college, I left home to live in Finland. And it wasn't easy. I have had my share of "I-hate-moms", but I am very close to my mom. I can tell her anything about everything. And I miss calling her everyday, just to ask about the very little things. How to cook this and that, where to put this and that, and when to do this and that. My mom and I will go to the very heart of the city just to shop. I miss going to Baclaran church with her, and after the mass, she will haggle with the tinderas of onions, suman, mangoes, etc. I miss going to Quiapo with her, and go around the very crowded streets to find lots of cheap stuff you don't get to see everyday. I miss going to China town with her and buying tungkoy and ginseng and tikoy during Chinese new year. And of course, when we went to Hongkong, we went straight to the haggling capital of HK. And man was she good!
Its because of these trips with mom, that I can never get lost in Binondo or Recto. I know where to find the cheap books, well, at least I don't buy the pirated CDs.
But more so, my moms wisdom is distinct. Passed onto her by my great grandparents who raised her. She learned to cook, wash clothes, and iron clothes with the charcoal type at age 7. Her candies are guava and duhat, her swimming pool is the clear river that runs beside our maternal house in Pampanga. Her clothes are hand me downs. Her school bus is the trunk of a banana tree to get her across the river. And yet she remained humble and contented. She finnished college even after she had kids. And that is determination personified.
I think that my relationship with mom will make a stable foundation as to what kind of relationship I will have with Ria. I sure wish if its not the same, it will be better.
I may not be the coolest mom, or good at haggling, but I will try my best to pass on the wisdom to Ria.
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Entry of March 16, 2006
Its been two months since I started the Finnish language course. I have been really busy, for the course is really intensive and difficult. A lot of new words to remember and 100 rules with 99 exceptions! And did I mention that its difficult? Half of the time, I am almost giving up. The teacher speaks in Finnish 99% of the time, and will only translate in English if none in the class understands. And she expects us to speak in Finnish all the time. She explains the grammar rules in Finnish. I have a question: How the hell will she expect me to understand the rules of the grammars if she doesn't explain it in English? How the hell does she expect me to speak in Finnish if I don't know how to construct the sentence?????
An excerpt from my Finnish Grammar book by: Fred Karlsson:
"The Finnish language is a member of the Finno-Ugric language family. Languages most closely related to Finnish are Estonian, Karelian, Vepsian, Ludian, Votian and Livonian, which are spoken around the south and east of the Gulf of Finland." I have never even heard of these languages!!!
Finnish language is what you would call agglutinative, in which grammatical markers and endings are joined to a word stem. And let me tell you, a word can go very long, and is already a sentence in the English language. And if the longest word in English: "Pneumonoltramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" is one form of lung disease, the longest word in Finnish: epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän - is already a question, meaning: Maybe by being unsystematical too?
Maybe now you would understand why its freaking difficult to learn the Finnish language. Imagine if one sentence can be written in one word. Or like if you want to say in Finnish: Maybe by being unsystematical too, you will get this lung disease?
more from me....
Its been two months since I started the Finnish language course. I have been really busy, for the course is really intensive and difficult. A lot of new words to remember and 100 rules with 99 exceptions! And did I mention that its difficult? Half of the time, I am almost giving up. The teacher speaks in Finnish 99% of the time, and will only translate in English if none in the class understands. And she expects us to speak in Finnish all the time. She explains the grammar rules in Finnish. I have a question: How the hell will she expect me to understand the rules of the grammars if she doesn't explain it in English? How the hell does she expect me to speak in Finnish if I don't know how to construct the sentence?????
An excerpt from my Finnish Grammar book by: Fred Karlsson:
"The Finnish language is a member of the Finno-Ugric language family. Languages most closely related to Finnish are Estonian, Karelian, Vepsian, Ludian, Votian and Livonian, which are spoken around the south and east of the Gulf of Finland." I have never even heard of these languages!!!
Finnish language is what you would call agglutinative, in which grammatical markers and endings are joined to a word stem. And let me tell you, a word can go very long, and is already a sentence in the English language. And if the longest word in English: "Pneumonoltramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" is one form of lung disease, the longest word in Finnish: epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän - is already a question, meaning: Maybe by being unsystematical too?
Maybe now you would understand why its freaking difficult to learn the Finnish language. Imagine if one sentence can be written in one word. Or like if you want to say in Finnish: Maybe by being unsystematical too, you will get this lung disease?
more from me....
Busy, busy, busy
I know its been a long time. Been very busy with school and birthdays and friends coming back...
Yes - Tarja Halonen won the presidential elections, and been sworn in recently.
Yes - Its still cold here but getting warmer. (yesterday it was 0 degs)
Yes - Steinar and Kasia are back... not to each others arms, no...
No - I am not fluent in Finnish yet.... its too damn hard!!!
Will update again later... Gotta go to school.
(Picture taken on our joint birthday party)
First Lady President.
Three Sundays ago (Jan. 8th) was the Presidential election here in Finland. Tarja Halonen, the first Lady President, also a social democrat, was up for re-election. Her main rivals are former Finance Minister Sauli Niinisto, a conservative, and centrist Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen.
Polls results indicated that there will be a second voting procedure that will happen on January 29th. Because the winner did not get more than 50% of the votes. So the two candidates who got the most votes will go for a face off that will determine who will be the President. And thats Tarja Halonen and Sauli Niinisto.
I am still not a voter of this country, and I dont want to analyze this so much. But when I become a Finnish citizen, which I hope will not be in the near future, then I will have a lot more to say about this.
My language course is very interesting, and I am starting to have dreams in Finnish. Which the teacher said is just normal. Funny thing is, when I start to practice on Ria, she cringes and tells me to stop. I think I suck. But well, give me a bit more time, and I will try again.
Picture from: www.axisglobe.com
Just like the first time...
January 4th, 2006.
New year, new role. Toni and I went to the center early and walked around after dropping Ria off. We went to the Keskustori, parked there, and walked to the shops. What do you know??? I found 30€ on the ground. Yeah, lucky me. hehe. We bought new table cloths and a Mariah Carey CD. nyahahahaha. I admit, am a fan.
Moving on.... Its my first day of school. So Toni drove me there, and met some of my classmates. So the Irish and the German guy whom I met during the interview arrived. And another guy from Manchester. They were all tall. Joe the Irish, Torsten the German, and Stu from Manchester with a very thick accent. Imagine how I looked right next to them.
Somehow, I felt like as if I'm entering San Juan de Dios all over again. hmmm....
Remember the terror looking lady? She's the founder of the school. And, shes not bad at all! Shes very warm and accomodating. For the first half of the class, she explained how she founded the school and what are her teaching techniques for foreigners like herself (shes from Estonia), who wants to learn the Finnish language.
The second half of the class gave me a mix feeling about the course. It is so very interactive. Another teacher made as repeat over and over, a series of dialogues in a scenario. And that we are to repeat this at home. And... here's the amazing part: we get to take a nap and listen to some relaxing music at the end of every class. Just like kindergarten :) :) :)
I am surely going to like this class.
New year, new role. Toni and I went to the center early and walked around after dropping Ria off. We went to the Keskustori, parked there, and walked to the shops. What do you know??? I found 30€ on the ground. Yeah, lucky me. hehe. We bought new table cloths and a Mariah Carey CD. nyahahahaha. I admit, am a fan.
Moving on.... Its my first day of school. So Toni drove me there, and met some of my classmates. So the Irish and the German guy whom I met during the interview arrived. And another guy from Manchester. They were all tall. Joe the Irish, Torsten the German, and Stu from Manchester with a very thick accent. Imagine how I looked right next to them.
Somehow, I felt like as if I'm entering San Juan de Dios all over again. hmmm....
Remember the terror looking lady? She's the founder of the school. And, shes not bad at all! Shes very warm and accomodating. For the first half of the class, she explained how she founded the school and what are her teaching techniques for foreigners like herself (shes from Estonia), who wants to learn the Finnish language.
The second half of the class gave me a mix feeling about the course. It is so very interactive. Another teacher made as repeat over and over, a series of dialogues in a scenario. And that we are to repeat this at home. And... here's the amazing part: we get to take a nap and listen to some relaxing music at the end of every class. Just like kindergarten :) :) :)
I am surely going to like this class.
Happy New Year!
December 31st, 2005.
A very good day. I woke up early and started cleaning up. My lumpiang shanghai is all wrapped 3 days ago and now defrosting. The crispy pata is boiled, dried, and waiting to get fried. The beef kare-kare, only needs the vegetables. The Ham, uhmmm, marinated in pineapple juice and brown sugar, is ready to roast in the oven. The chicken, oh yes, it will be baked as soon as the ham is done.
I started frying the kropek (prawn crackers), and prepared the crust for the quiche. Cut up the fruits for the punch and when everything is ready, the first guest arived on the dot.
Fatemeh, Sebastjan, Nico, Magda, Steve, Lisa and Gilberto, all came bearing gifts for our Monito Monita. And with loads of booze. It was a slow start, no one would want to sing the karaoke. I think they weren't drunk enough. During the countdown, we all went outside and lit up some fireworks and drank champagne. And when we came back inside, everyone was ready to take on the karaoke singing.... Hah! It took almost half of the booze to get them to sing. But it was all worth it. I had fun, and I love that all of them were into it. Thank you for a very good New Years eve party.
Oh, and Ria didn't go to sleep until the last guest had left. She was such a good girl.
Till we meet again.
December 23rd, 2005. I received the letter that says I got accepted to the Finnish language course. I was happy. But sad in a way. Coz I have to leave my work place and leave the people I have considered my family. The course will start on the 4th of Jan, and will end on the 30th of May 2006.
I would like to make this entry, a small tribute to my colleagues/family who have been part of my first working experience here in Finland. To Felomena, who's been patient with me all this time. To my bestfriends Kasia and Magda. To my goo goo boys, Kalle and Gearoid. To my confidante a.k.a. the Bitch - Steinar. To my dada Nik. To Caroline, Harri, Steve, and of course the original lil alcoholic - Alex. Thank you for all the memories. And a special thanks to the orginal S90 peeps. You have been so wonderful. You have shown me how a world full of different people from different cultures, race and religion can mingle, live and work as one. I salute you. You are great people with great minds. Again, thank you....
I would like to make this entry, a small tribute to my colleagues/family who have been part of my first working experience here in Finland. To Felomena, who's been patient with me all this time. To my bestfriends Kasia and Magda. To my goo goo boys, Kalle and Gearoid. To my confidante a.k.a. the Bitch - Steinar. To my dada Nik. To Caroline, Harri, Steve, and of course the original lil alcoholic - Alex. Thank you for all the memories. And a special thanks to the orginal S90 peeps. You have been so wonderful. You have shown me how a world full of different people from different cultures, race and religion can mingle, live and work as one. I salute you. You are great people with great minds. Again, thank you....
Onnenkieli! here I come....
December 20, 2005. I walked up the stairs of the Onnekieli building. The Language school who will grant me an interview. Not many people gets chosen to the language course. There are so many factors to consider. I dunno if I have those factors to get into the course. But I have to go for the interview. This is it. Not knowing what to expect, I went with the feeling that this could change my life, but, thy will be done.
The corridors weren't inviting at all. It took me back to the memories of highschool. Gray walls. Shut doors. Dull. There were several people already waiting for the interview. Two girls I remembered who are from the middle east, one Irish lad, one German guy, and some other people I didn't even get to talk to. They all had different stories to tell, and all had speculations on what the interviewer was asking. They had several papers on their hands with Finnish words in it. When I asked the German guy, he said he is already enrolled to one Finnish course. So I asked why is he still applying for this one? He replied that this Onnenkieli is the best school in Tampere, with major awards from the Collegiate authorities.
My turn for interview. I was nervous, unlike most job interviews, you can't lie. This one made me more nervous, coz I know that my life here in Finland partly depended on it. I cannot be the lazy ass I was in highschool and college. In short, I can't cheat. I can't lie. So I reverted to the old and wise wisdom: Just be yourself!
I met two ladies. On my right was a very smiling and affectionate looking 30 something-carreer woman. The other looks like my terror Physics teacher. A no nonesense look on her face. Made me want to run out of the room. The interview I think went well. They asked the very important questions, of why, and what is my goal afterwards. Pretty basic questions, that will show how determined you are of studying the Finnish language.
I shook hands with the ladies, but unlike in most job interviews, I have no hint whatsoever, if I'm gonna get the post or not. There were 80 applicants, and they only need 15!!!
CHRISTMAS DAY!!!
Yes this is a bit too late for a Christmas entry, I know. But you have to forgive me, coz I was too busy with whats been going on with my life amidst the Christmas hustle and bustle.
Toni, Ria and I had a very quiet Christmas eve. Its Ria's 2nd Christmas but basically one that she can almost understand and hopefully remembers. I introduced the socks hanging to her for Santas gifts. Although we only put some candies on her socks, we gave her a talking laptop toy. Toni asked for a very cheap Woodstock DVD. I think, I got the best gift this Christmas. I got accepted to the very best Language school in Tampere. And I had to leave my workplace. It was sad to leave all the friends I have made, but this was a choice I have to make, because I don't want Maria to grow up and not be able to communicate with her fully.
Glöggi is a Finnish Christmas drink, the counterpart of eggnogg or in the Philippines, the tsokolate (made from pure cocoa powder). Glöggi is made of grapes, blueberries, black currant, cinnamon, cardemum, and ginger. There are variations of course, but you have to mix this with red wine (for alcohol - 1:1) heat this up almost to the point of boiling but not so, and serve it with some raisins in it and almond flakes floating. There are so many different Christmas food here in Finland, but one that is the counterpart of fruitcake is the joulutorttu (christmas tart). Although its not made of tart. It is a pastry with jam in the middle, shaped like a star. Delicious!!!
And so we took our sledges and rode down the hill. Ria had so much fun, and for me, it was a picnic of course. I made leche flan, brownies and some cookies, brought coffee and soda. We went sledging with some of my colleagues and some new friends. It was really fun.
I know I wasn't able to hear mass. But here, its so difficult to get to the English mass, since our Pastor, a Polish one, speaks fluent Finnish. Soon, after this course, I will be able to go to the Finnish mass.
Toni, Ria and I had a very quiet Christmas eve. Its Ria's 2nd Christmas but basically one that she can almost understand and hopefully remembers. I introduced the socks hanging to her for Santas gifts. Although we only put some candies on her socks, we gave her a talking laptop toy. Toni asked for a very cheap Woodstock DVD. I think, I got the best gift this Christmas. I got accepted to the very best Language school in Tampere. And I had to leave my workplace. It was sad to leave all the friends I have made, but this was a choice I have to make, because I don't want Maria to grow up and not be able to communicate with her fully.
Glöggi is a Finnish Christmas drink, the counterpart of eggnogg or in the Philippines, the tsokolate (made from pure cocoa powder). Glöggi is made of grapes, blueberries, black currant, cinnamon, cardemum, and ginger. There are variations of course, but you have to mix this with red wine (for alcohol - 1:1) heat this up almost to the point of boiling but not so, and serve it with some raisins in it and almond flakes floating. There are so many different Christmas food here in Finland, but one that is the counterpart of fruitcake is the joulutorttu (christmas tart). Although its not made of tart. It is a pastry with jam in the middle, shaped like a star. Delicious!!!
And so we took our sledges and rode down the hill. Ria had so much fun, and for me, it was a picnic of course. I made leche flan, brownies and some cookies, brought coffee and soda. We went sledging with some of my colleagues and some new friends. It was really fun.I know I wasn't able to hear mass. But here, its so difficult to get to the English mass, since our Pastor, a Polish one, speaks fluent Finnish. Soon, after this course, I will be able to go to the Finnish mass.
And he woke up...
Update entry of December 18th, 2005
Bolek woke up to the surprise of his doctors and relief of his family. Miracles happen everyday. We just have to hold on to what lil faith we have in our hearts. Not everyone is given a second chance in life. But those who does, they are one of the lucky bastards.... hehehe. To Bolek, lets drink to that!!!
Bolek woke up to the surprise of his doctors and relief of his family. Miracles happen everyday. We just have to hold on to what lil faith we have in our hearts. Not everyone is given a second chance in life. But those who does, they are one of the lucky bastards.... hehehe. To Bolek, lets drink to that!!!
What are you thanful for?
Entry of December 18th, 2005
Last week was the Thanksgiving week. Pinoys don't celebrate this, unless they have been in America for a long time. Well, like most holidays, it is a reason to gather together and not think about work. Here in Finland, they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. But the Independence day (from Russia) falls on the same week.
Back to Thanksgiving... What am I thankful for? I have been working for the whole year, with all the ups and downs. My daughter is growing up and shes healthy and smart. We have lived in the same house for almost 12 months, and thats a record breaker!!! My parents back in Manila are doing great, health wise. Toni and I still wake up in the same bed, together, every morning! And thats whats important. I have my family and we are intact.
Now whats cooking for Christmas???
P.S. Happy Birthday to my friends Caryl and Shareh and to my cousin Lawrence Orange!!!
Last week was the Thanksgiving week. Pinoys don't celebrate this, unless they have been in America for a long time. Well, like most holidays, it is a reason to gather together and not think about work. Here in Finland, they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. But the Independence day (from Russia) falls on the same week.
Back to Thanksgiving... What am I thankful for? I have been working for the whole year, with all the ups and downs. My daughter is growing up and shes healthy and smart. We have lived in the same house for almost 12 months, and thats a record breaker!!! My parents back in Manila are doing great, health wise. Toni and I still wake up in the same bed, together, every morning! And thats whats important. I have my family and we are intact.
Now whats cooking for Christmas???
P.S. Happy Birthday to my friends Caryl and Shareh and to my cousin Lawrence Orange!!!
Kailangan Kita
Entry of December 7, 2005
The Father of my dearest friend, is now fighting for his life in a hospital in the country of The Crowned White Eagle.
I would like to ask you my friends, to say a lil prayer for BOLEK, once you read this. He had a heart attack one week ago and has since undergone 2 surgeries.
Flashback: I remembered waking up on a hospital bed at New Era ward. I was awakened by someone humming a very old classic Tagalog song "Kailangan kita" - I Need You. The heat was unbearable. I was sweating like crazy. It was 2 in the morning, I cried myself to sleep. I slowly got up and went to the prayer room. I couldn't cry any longer. I couldn't question God. I just knelt there for what seems like eternity, nothing in my mind to actually say to the Lord. At last, I got up and said "Thy will be done". As I walked outside, I saw the doctor who had just finished operating on my dad. He asked how old I was, and if there's any adult with me. I said I am 21, adult enough. And I know my medical terms. He showed me the 80cms of large intestine he took out from my dads tummy. Gangrenous. And told me that my dad is now in the recovery room. Out of danger. I was relieved, but still unsure.
Two days earlier, my dad suffered extreme stomach ache after having lunch near SEC office. He was rushed by a taxi driver to a Quezon City hospital. My sister and I was contacted separately by the hospital. When I got there, my sister, my brother and my sister-in-law were crying by my dads side. He was in pain. The agony on my dads face was too much. I just tried to calmly talk to my dad and did what I can to make him comfortable. I had no time to shed a tear. And even if I try, the shock of the moment blocked my tear ducts. In a span of two days, he was transferred to another hospital and was treated with insullin (in prep for operation).
That two days was the most agonizing days of my life. I was there by my dads bed side. His sweat and tears combined. We couldn't get a decent, private, air conditioned room. Everything was taken. We had to endure the mid summer heat. 37 degs. At last he was wheeled to the operating room. I don't know what to think. My mind was blank. Thats how it is when you are trying to not expect the inevitable. Tears are just flowing freely. Mouth: DRY. Whole body: NUMB.
A few months after the operation, my dad went back for his check up. The doctor told him that after the operation, a few minutes before 2 am, they almost lost him. He stabilized at exactly 2 am.
And my dad asked me, "What was the title of the song I use to sing to put you to sleep?"
I replied: KAILANGAN KITA!!!
The Father of my dearest friend, is now fighting for his life in a hospital in the country of The Crowned White Eagle.
I would like to ask you my friends, to say a lil prayer for BOLEK, once you read this. He had a heart attack one week ago and has since undergone 2 surgeries.
Flashback: I remembered waking up on a hospital bed at New Era ward. I was awakened by someone humming a very old classic Tagalog song "Kailangan kita" - I Need You. The heat was unbearable. I was sweating like crazy. It was 2 in the morning, I cried myself to sleep. I slowly got up and went to the prayer room. I couldn't cry any longer. I couldn't question God. I just knelt there for what seems like eternity, nothing in my mind to actually say to the Lord. At last, I got up and said "Thy will be done". As I walked outside, I saw the doctor who had just finished operating on my dad. He asked how old I was, and if there's any adult with me. I said I am 21, adult enough. And I know my medical terms. He showed me the 80cms of large intestine he took out from my dads tummy. Gangrenous. And told me that my dad is now in the recovery room. Out of danger. I was relieved, but still unsure.
Two days earlier, my dad suffered extreme stomach ache after having lunch near SEC office. He was rushed by a taxi driver to a Quezon City hospital. My sister and I was contacted separately by the hospital. When I got there, my sister, my brother and my sister-in-law were crying by my dads side. He was in pain. The agony on my dads face was too much. I just tried to calmly talk to my dad and did what I can to make him comfortable. I had no time to shed a tear. And even if I try, the shock of the moment blocked my tear ducts. In a span of two days, he was transferred to another hospital and was treated with insullin (in prep for operation).
That two days was the most agonizing days of my life. I was there by my dads bed side. His sweat and tears combined. We couldn't get a decent, private, air conditioned room. Everything was taken. We had to endure the mid summer heat. 37 degs. At last he was wheeled to the operating room. I don't know what to think. My mind was blank. Thats how it is when you are trying to not expect the inevitable. Tears are just flowing freely. Mouth: DRY. Whole body: NUMB.
A few months after the operation, my dad went back for his check up. The doctor told him that after the operation, a few minutes before 2 am, they almost lost him. He stabilized at exactly 2 am.And my dad asked me, "What was the title of the song I use to sing to put you to sleep?"
I replied: KAILANGAN KITA!!!
Im dreaming of a white CHRISTMAS!!
Entry of November 28th, 2005
Its winter time once again. Tampere is covered in snow. I admit, I am starting to like the winter. Of course in my beloved country, it only exists in the Christmas songs.... (like the title of this blog).
Everything looks beautiful in the winter time. There are pine trees, still green, yet covered with snow. The air smells fresh. The world looks brighter, coz the sunshine reflects on the snow. Snow ball fights and sledding are really fun. I haven't tried ice skating though, but I would like to try it in a real frozen lake. Skiing is still a dream for me. Oh and the sauna... in 70 degs. Then a quick dip in a hole on a frozen lake! (which I have yet to try). But just coming out of the sauna and standing outside in a robe (sometimes butt naked) with a bottle of cold cider, and a cigarette, is all soo refreshing.
I guess I could say, that the only thing I hate about winter, is the many layers of clothes that you have to wear before you can go out. And since I have Maria, thats double the time consumed!
But you know whats so amazing? That Finland can actually get colder than Sweden although they are on the same hemisphere. Because of the mountains on the borders of Norway and Sweden, the cold air blowing from the west goes on top of Sweden and bounces back down to Finland.
Well, I won't be dreaming of white Christmas this time, coz its all happening now. Will post pictures soon.
Its winter time once again. Tampere is covered in snow. I admit, I am starting to like the winter. Of course in my beloved country, it only exists in the Christmas songs.... (like the title of this blog).
Everything looks beautiful in the winter time. There are pine trees, still green, yet covered with snow. The air smells fresh. The world looks brighter, coz the sunshine reflects on the snow. Snow ball fights and sledding are really fun. I haven't tried ice skating though, but I would like to try it in a real frozen lake. Skiing is still a dream for me. Oh and the sauna... in 70 degs. Then a quick dip in a hole on a frozen lake! (which I have yet to try). But just coming out of the sauna and standing outside in a robe (sometimes butt naked) with a bottle of cold cider, and a cigarette, is all soo refreshing.
I guess I could say, that the only thing I hate about winter, is the many layers of clothes that you have to wear before you can go out. And since I have Maria, thats double the time consumed!
But you know whats so amazing? That Finland can actually get colder than Sweden although they are on the same hemisphere. Because of the mountains on the borders of Norway and Sweden, the cold air blowing from the west goes on top of Sweden and bounces back down to Finland.
Well, I won't be dreaming of white Christmas this time, coz its all happening now. Will post pictures soon.
Completing...
Entry of November 22, 2005
I have asked a few people about what makes them complete. Some say its finding that life partner. Mr. or Ms. RIGHT. That's for the single people to say. A love from a person matters so much, and may at times makes someone complete. Married ones would say its having kids that will make them complete. Others would be the serenity of early morning walks, comforting silence of the lake, a beautiful sunset, long Sunday mornings in bed, and the list goes on. But as one friend said, these are just momentary feeling of COMPLETENESS. Something that is imbibed by the NOW. Short term.
I asked my dad the same question and he replied with this: "I don't need anything anymore. I feel complete. I am complete". But these words coming from a 70 yr old man, can be an understatement. For he has done a lot. But do I have to live that long to be able to say I am complete? It could be that I am complete now but just don't have the time to sit down and realize it. But when we wake up in the morning, can we really say that "tonight I will do something that will make me complete"?
I had a very good conversation with Toni last night. Well, apart from kissing my ass and replying "You complete me", he said something that struck me deep: It all depends on your level of satisfaction. What makes you satisfied, makes you feel complete. Sunday afternoons watching TV with your love ones, a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of beer, after cleaning up the whole house, makes one feel complete. That's like the simplest form of it.
Maybe just being alive and enjoying it is a form of completeness. Or maybe.... at the back of our minds, we have an idea of what will complete us but we aren't sure what people would think about it. Either way, being complete is something that only our minds and soul can tell. When we wake up in the morning, we have the option to set our minds whether we'll have a good day or not. If we choose to spend the day happy, then everything falls into its own place, and life won't be complicated at all. We will simply feel, what else, COMPLETE!
I have asked a few people about what makes them complete. Some say its finding that life partner. Mr. or Ms. RIGHT. That's for the single people to say. A love from a person matters so much, and may at times makes someone complete. Married ones would say its having kids that will make them complete. Others would be the serenity of early morning walks, comforting silence of the lake, a beautiful sunset, long Sunday mornings in bed, and the list goes on. But as one friend said, these are just momentary feeling of COMPLETENESS. Something that is imbibed by the NOW. Short term.
I asked my dad the same question and he replied with this: "I don't need anything anymore. I feel complete. I am complete". But these words coming from a 70 yr old man, can be an understatement. For he has done a lot. But do I have to live that long to be able to say I am complete? It could be that I am complete now but just don't have the time to sit down and realize it. But when we wake up in the morning, can we really say that "tonight I will do something that will make me complete"?
I had a very good conversation with Toni last night. Well, apart from kissing my ass and replying "You complete me", he said something that struck me deep: It all depends on your level of satisfaction. What makes you satisfied, makes you feel complete. Sunday afternoons watching TV with your love ones, a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of beer, after cleaning up the whole house, makes one feel complete. That's like the simplest form of it.
Maybe just being alive and enjoying it is a form of completeness. Or maybe.... at the back of our minds, we have an idea of what will complete us but we aren't sure what people would think about it. Either way, being complete is something that only our minds and soul can tell. When we wake up in the morning, we have the option to set our minds whether we'll have a good day or not. If we choose to spend the day happy, then everything falls into its own place, and life won't be complicated at all. We will simply feel, what else, COMPLETE!
Complete
entry of November 16, 2005
The past few days have been a blur. Let me start on Friday. November 4Th. Not a good day for a Halloween Party. Don't ask me why, i might embarrass myself. But I didn't manage to attend.
Remember how I have been sulking and complaining that I didn't get enough work in October??? Well, well, surprise!!! i got loads of work to do for this month. No complains. Am happy to work.
Saturday, Nov. 5th, I went to town with Sylwia and Pawel and Katsu! Made some new friends. But my other bitches are still too drunk and wasted from the halloween party to see me. Fine!!! Tuesday: Katarzyna Druszcz a.k.a. KASIA arrived from Poland. Thursday: A dinner gathering at Alex's place for her birthday. Kasia cooked. Ria fell off the couch head first. Toni couldn't drink coz he will be driving back home, but got to bring home half a bottle of Polish grass Vodka. Saturday: Nov. 12th, the big day. The party day. A very long night indeed.
I would like to congratulate one of my dearest friend, baby, sister, and confidante, for she found someone very special in the person of Nico. I wish that both of you will be happy together and may the fire (on Nico's lap top) of your love for each other burn forever. To Alex, happy birthday. You can't imagine how much you mean to me and my family. And if Nico ever hurt you, I promise you, I will hunt him down and pinch his butt!!!! ;)
As this blogs title "Complete", I'd like to talk about when do you say you are complete? Is it when you have enough money? Is it when you found the love of your life? Is it when you have your own family?
Different people have different perception about being COMPLETE. I'd like to know what you can say about this. Feel free to add a comment.
The past few days have been a blur. Let me start on Friday. November 4Th. Not a good day for a Halloween Party. Don't ask me why, i might embarrass myself. But I didn't manage to attend.
Remember how I have been sulking and complaining that I didn't get enough work in October??? Well, well, surprise!!! i got loads of work to do for this month. No complains. Am happy to work.
Saturday, Nov. 5th, I went to town with Sylwia and Pawel and Katsu! Made some new friends. But my other bitches are still too drunk and wasted from the halloween party to see me. Fine!!! Tuesday: Katarzyna Druszcz a.k.a. KASIA arrived from Poland. Thursday: A dinner gathering at Alex's place for her birthday. Kasia cooked. Ria fell off the couch head first. Toni couldn't drink coz he will be driving back home, but got to bring home half a bottle of Polish grass Vodka. Saturday: Nov. 12th, the big day. The party day. A very long night indeed.
I would like to congratulate one of my dearest friend, baby, sister, and confidante, for she found someone very special in the person of Nico. I wish that both of you will be happy together and may the fire (on Nico's lap top) of your love for each other burn forever. To Alex, happy birthday. You can't imagine how much you mean to me and my family. And if Nico ever hurt you, I promise you, I will hunt him down and pinch his butt!!!! ;)
As this blogs title "Complete", I'd like to talk about when do you say you are complete? Is it when you have enough money? Is it when you found the love of your life? Is it when you have your own family?
Different people have different perception about being COMPLETE. I'd like to know what you can say about this. Feel free to add a comment.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
My own two shoes...
Entry of November 7th, 2005
Have you ever experienced being so damn broke? Like really nothing, not even a single cent in your pocket?
I have. I clearly remember that day in 1996. I just turned 19. My dad lost his business 4 years earlier. We had a heart to heart talk. The first time my dad cried. He can no longer pay for my college tuition. (My European friends might not be able to relate to this, but my Pinoy friends can) Thats when I decided to get a job. I got to work for a Chinese couple who owns a cellular phone store, where else, China Town. The infamous Ongpin St. (And yes, in 1996, the first GSM in the Philippines was the Nokia 2110i) I was a sales clerk, but now a days, they call it Sales Associate. I was earning a measley Php 4,700.00 (€68.00) per month. As soon as I receive my salary, I'll give it to my mom so she can buy some groceries. And I would need about Php35.00 everyday to get to work. One jeepney from home to Alabang-Zapote road (P2.50), and a bus (Taz trans) all the way to China Town for P15.00. And the same trip back home if I am early enough to catch the last jeepney ride home. If not, I have to take the tricycle-special trip for P12.00. And that doesn't include my lunch money. There were times that I will pretend to be asleep on the bus, just so the conductor won't ask me for my fare. Or, for me to save the money for my lunch, or for my trip back home, I will take 2 jeepneys, the open air type, in sweltering 35 degs. Manila heat, inhaling all the possible monoxides emitted by millions of smoke belching automobiles speeding the long pathways of Taft Avenue, instead of 1 airconditioned bus.(inhale, thats a long one) Sometimes, a colleague will invite me for lunch because he's friends with some Chinese eatery owners, and we'll get free meals. And our Chinese bosses buys us snacks every afternoon. (Which consists of 4 different kinds of noodles, dumplings and jellies). And this routine, went on for about 8 months.
I know a lot of people who have experienced the same. Some are experiencing it now. And I know its a tough lesson to learn. For me, that experience brought me to a lot of places. Taught me a lot about life, work, and family. But you just have to be tougher than life to survive the rat race so to speak. I have worked in different industries and I tried to take in every skill and knowledge I can absorb. Cell phone store, Shoe store, themed restaurants, bars, Karaoke places, pubs, Insurance brokerage, call center and the latest, software testing!
But I believe that a lot of things happen for a reason. I will not be the person I am now, if not for these impoverish and humbling experiences. I learned. And I am tougher. This I would like Ria to learn.
I still haven't mastered the art of handling money, but I now know how to make them last. (Until the next salary day, ehehehe)
Have you ever experienced being so damn broke? Like really nothing, not even a single cent in your pocket?
I have. I clearly remember that day in 1996. I just turned 19. My dad lost his business 4 years earlier. We had a heart to heart talk. The first time my dad cried. He can no longer pay for my college tuition. (My European friends might not be able to relate to this, but my Pinoy friends can) Thats when I decided to get a job. I got to work for a Chinese couple who owns a cellular phone store, where else, China Town. The infamous Ongpin St. (And yes, in 1996, the first GSM in the Philippines was the Nokia 2110i) I was a sales clerk, but now a days, they call it Sales Associate. I was earning a measley Php 4,700.00 (€68.00) per month. As soon as I receive my salary, I'll give it to my mom so she can buy some groceries. And I would need about Php35.00 everyday to get to work. One jeepney from home to Alabang-Zapote road (P2.50), and a bus (Taz trans) all the way to China Town for P15.00. And the same trip back home if I am early enough to catch the last jeepney ride home. If not, I have to take the tricycle-special trip for P12.00. And that doesn't include my lunch money. There were times that I will pretend to be asleep on the bus, just so the conductor won't ask me for my fare. Or, for me to save the money for my lunch, or for my trip back home, I will take 2 jeepneys, the open air type, in sweltering 35 degs. Manila heat, inhaling all the possible monoxides emitted by millions of smoke belching automobiles speeding the long pathways of Taft Avenue, instead of 1 airconditioned bus.(inhale, thats a long one) Sometimes, a colleague will invite me for lunch because he's friends with some Chinese eatery owners, and we'll get free meals. And our Chinese bosses buys us snacks every afternoon. (Which consists of 4 different kinds of noodles, dumplings and jellies). And this routine, went on for about 8 months.
I know a lot of people who have experienced the same. Some are experiencing it now. And I know its a tough lesson to learn. For me, that experience brought me to a lot of places. Taught me a lot about life, work, and family. But you just have to be tougher than life to survive the rat race so to speak. I have worked in different industries and I tried to take in every skill and knowledge I can absorb. Cell phone store, Shoe store, themed restaurants, bars, Karaoke places, pubs, Insurance brokerage, call center and the latest, software testing!
But I believe that a lot of things happen for a reason. I will not be the person I am now, if not for these impoverish and humbling experiences. I learned. And I am tougher. This I would like Ria to learn.
I still haven't mastered the art of handling money, but I now know how to make them last. (Until the next salary day, ehehehe)
Sunday, sundae, sunnyday!!!
Entry of October 28th, 2005
Sunday is the recorded day that God rested after creation. Religion has taught us that this is the day to stop working but dedicate the day for worshipping the Lord. Honestly, I have not been religiously attending mass. Sundays are my day to clean up the house. Sorry, hate me and judge me, but its the only time that I can really concentrate on doing my house chores without the pressure of office works, picking up Ria, groceries, etc.
Sunday is the recorded day that God rested after creation. Religion has taught us that this is the day to stop working but dedicate the day for worshipping the Lord. Honestly, I have not been religiously attending mass. Sundays are my day to clean up the house. Sorry, hate me and judge me, but its the only time that I can really concentrate on doing my house chores without the pressure of office works, picking up Ria, groceries, etc.
Bureaucracy
Written October 27th, 2005
Bureaucracy!!! How much blame can bureaucracy take?
Bureaucracy: An administrative system in which the need or inclination to follow rigid or complex procedures impedes effective action.
I have been in Finland since December 2002, and have been experiencing various degrees of bureacracy. "Why?" you ask, that a lil someone like me, would question something as big as the Finnish Government? There were a lot of requirements they said I didn't meet for me to get the "maternity allowance". I was a few days short after I was registered. But I was a few weeks over when I got here. What does it matter???? I am still carrying a Finnish Child for heavens sake!!! Next was the drivers license. I could not get a Finnish License unless I carry out driver's ed. But just a few miles away, inside Finland, a Filipina like me, got away with a Finnish license without driver's ed. Just recently, I applied for a Finnish Language course. And yes you guessed it right. I didn't get accepted. The lady in the employment office who was giving these courses only reasoned that maybe there were a lot of applicants for this course so I didn't get accepted.
You are probably thinking that I am whinning so much. I think so too. But look at it this way, there were a lot of foreigners like me who came to Finland under "refugee" status that are getting living and rental allowances from the government. And where do they get the money to finance this? From people like me who works their asses off to earn a living and not ask money from the government and get taxed so high it reaches the rooftop of Sears Tower in Chicago! And for a mere Finnish language course that my union will pay for (take note, its not the government), they couldn't even provide for me.
I would like to think of these as challenges, because compared to my beloved country, The Philippines, you wouldn't even live with the minimum wage and government subsidies are unheard of. But at least the big players can cheat on their taxes! hehehe. Whats so frustrating really is the lack of ideologies of the people who are in the position to decide. Its like Big Brother in a big picture. "Who goes, they (you) decide". (I dunno if its the same catch phrase they use in the Pinoy Big Brother, but this is used for UKBB)
Anyhow, I will still keep applying for all the language courses the employment office will offer. Let them be the one to get tired of me. So on monday, I will come back to the employment office. And I will soon conquer....
No recipe or liquor concoction for this entry. But I leave you with a promise that I am on my way to clean and healthy living. I am now starting to lessen my smoking to 3 sticks a day.
Bureaucracy!!! How much blame can bureaucracy take?
Bureaucracy: An administrative system in which the need or inclination to follow rigid or complex procedures impedes effective action.
I have been in Finland since December 2002, and have been experiencing various degrees of bureacracy. "Why?" you ask, that a lil someone like me, would question something as big as the Finnish Government? There were a lot of requirements they said I didn't meet for me to get the "maternity allowance". I was a few days short after I was registered. But I was a few weeks over when I got here. What does it matter???? I am still carrying a Finnish Child for heavens sake!!! Next was the drivers license. I could not get a Finnish License unless I carry out driver's ed. But just a few miles away, inside Finland, a Filipina like me, got away with a Finnish license without driver's ed. Just recently, I applied for a Finnish Language course. And yes you guessed it right. I didn't get accepted. The lady in the employment office who was giving these courses only reasoned that maybe there were a lot of applicants for this course so I didn't get accepted.
You are probably thinking that I am whinning so much. I think so too. But look at it this way, there were a lot of foreigners like me who came to Finland under "refugee" status that are getting living and rental allowances from the government. And where do they get the money to finance this? From people like me who works their asses off to earn a living and not ask money from the government and get taxed so high it reaches the rooftop of Sears Tower in Chicago! And for a mere Finnish language course that my union will pay for (take note, its not the government), they couldn't even provide for me.
I would like to think of these as challenges, because compared to my beloved country, The Philippines, you wouldn't even live with the minimum wage and government subsidies are unheard of. But at least the big players can cheat on their taxes! hehehe. Whats so frustrating really is the lack of ideologies of the people who are in the position to decide. Its like Big Brother in a big picture. "Who goes, they (you) decide". (I dunno if its the same catch phrase they use in the Pinoy Big Brother, but this is used for UKBB)
Anyhow, I will still keep applying for all the language courses the employment office will offer. Let them be the one to get tired of me. So on monday, I will come back to the employment office. And I will soon conquer....
No recipe or liquor concoction for this entry. But I leave you with a promise that I am on my way to clean and healthy living. I am now starting to lessen my smoking to 3 sticks a day.
When too much IS too much!
Written on October 25th, 2005
Today, I received my work hours for week 44. It will be exactly 13 working days that I wasted. That is half a months salary gone. You ask what I have been doing. Been going to the gym (every other day), playing badminton (1hr on fridays and 3hrs on sats), and attending parties every 4th day. I have never been bored out of my skull! This is way too much time wasted.
* 20 waking hours * a mug of coffee (even if its 1/4 milk) * 5 cigarette sticks * 25 mins shower * 2 chocolate bars a week * 2 hrs of gym * 3 hrs of badminton * 5 days old bedsheets * 5 sprays of perfume * 3 glasses of sodas a week * 1½ a bottle of vodka in one night * 2 bottles of wine in one night * +40 degs weather * -20 degs weather * 4 in thick pillow * 2 novels a day * 3 movies a day * Toni's smell after school * 10 hours car travel * 24 hours flight * doughnut * these for me, too much to handle.
But, I can't get enough * sleep * Mom's adobo, kare-kare, tinola and sinigang * shoes * bags * friends * music * Jack Daniels * of spring * Ria's freshly showered smell * of Summer * of beaches * BBQ picnics * pictures * slippers *
Brad Pitt once answered NEVER to the question when enough is enough? Do I have the courage to say ENOUGH? Or should I succumb to the abuse, let them step on my toes and shine their pointy shoes? If the situation was better, I'll take off my apron and give an indignant I QUIT! I was once good at it. But not anymore. Sometimes we have to learn when to keep our mouth shut. And for sure, this isn't the end of the game. The hero loses in the beginning and rises in the end. When its near the end, you'll find me at last. On the bar, with my best friend Jack (daniels)!!!
Today, I received my work hours for week 44. It will be exactly 13 working days that I wasted. That is half a months salary gone. You ask what I have been doing. Been going to the gym (every other day), playing badminton (1hr on fridays and 3hrs on sats), and attending parties every 4th day. I have never been bored out of my skull! This is way too much time wasted.
* 20 waking hours * a mug of coffee (even if its 1/4 milk) * 5 cigarette sticks * 25 mins shower * 2 chocolate bars a week * 2 hrs of gym * 3 hrs of badminton * 5 days old bedsheets * 5 sprays of perfume * 3 glasses of sodas a week * 1½ a bottle of vodka in one night * 2 bottles of wine in one night * +40 degs weather * -20 degs weather * 4 in thick pillow * 2 novels a day * 3 movies a day * Toni's smell after school * 10 hours car travel * 24 hours flight * doughnut * these for me, too much to handle.
But, I can't get enough * sleep * Mom's adobo, kare-kare, tinola and sinigang * shoes * bags * friends * music * Jack Daniels * of spring * Ria's freshly showered smell * of Summer * of beaches * BBQ picnics * pictures * slippers *
Brad Pitt once answered NEVER to the question when enough is enough? Do I have the courage to say ENOUGH? Or should I succumb to the abuse, let them step on my toes and shine their pointy shoes? If the situation was better, I'll take off my apron and give an indignant I QUIT! I was once good at it. But not anymore. Sometimes we have to learn when to keep our mouth shut. And for sure, this isn't the end of the game. The hero loses in the beginning and rises in the end. When its near the end, you'll find me at last. On the bar, with my best friend Jack (daniels)!!!
On being a Filipino
Written on October 21st, 2005
Today's the birthday celebration of a very dear friend Nena. She's my first Filipina friend here in Finland. When I gave birth to Ria, she spent a couple of days helping me out. Not just because of the baby, but also because Toni and I are in the middle of moving from Kerava to Ikaalinen. I owe her a lot for doing that. And of course, I also thank her better half, Sten, who is a collegue of Tonis back in Manila. They have been very helpful in more ways than one. And now they have their own precious Selena.
I salute people like them, who are always willing to lend a hand. This is the first time I have lived outside the Philippines and I am a bit culture shocked, not by the Finnish people but the Filipino people who lives here. I am saddened by the fact that there really are Pinoys that would put other Pinoys down. I have been a witness to how some Pinoys who lives in Helsinki actually looks down on other Pinoys who lives outside the capital city. I am not saying that they are all like that. But there are a few in existence.
When I first came here, I was pregnant, cold, hungry for Pinoy home cooked meals, friendless, alone, away from family, and very, very lonely. Yes i have Toni and his sister. But its still different. Nena came to Finland almost on my last tri mester. And we didn't even see each other until 4 days after I gave birth. So now that Valerie is in the same position as I was two years ago, its my turn to help her out. I will try to help her ease out her post pregnancy blues, hormonal imbalances, and so on. She gave birth today via CS to a healthy baby girl. And I will see them tom. I want to give back what I got when I was the one suffering, and I will try to give more. Because shes a Filipino, and I am a Filipino.
By the way, we had a very good lunch. It was pumpkin and potato soup. Boil one kilo of cubed pumpkin, and ½ kilo of peeled, cubed potatoes. When soft enough, drain and put them in your blender in batches. Be very careful. Make sure that the lid is open a crack on the side that is not facing you. I use this Braun probe especially made for pureeing food. In a casserole, heat up 2 tbsp. of olive oil. Fry ½ cup of chopped bacon, when crispy, add 1 tbsp. of chopped garlic and ½ cup of chopped onion. Add 1 cup of cubed chicken or 1 cup of ground beef. Saute until the meat is done. Add the potato and pumpkin puree. Add ½ cup of water and bring to a boil on medium heat. Again be very careful because it bubbles up. you don't wanna get burned by a very hot soup. When it boils, turn off the heat and add 1 cup of low fat cream and mix. Add 1 tsp of Italian seasoning, 10 fresh basil leaves (if fresh is not available, then put ½ tsp of dried basil instead), 1 tsp of salt (herbal salt if possible). Sprinkle some fresh gorund black pepper before serving. This is really good with garlic baguette. Healthy and enjoyable.
Today's the birthday celebration of a very dear friend Nena. She's my first Filipina friend here in Finland. When I gave birth to Ria, she spent a couple of days helping me out. Not just because of the baby, but also because Toni and I are in the middle of moving from Kerava to Ikaalinen. I owe her a lot for doing that. And of course, I also thank her better half, Sten, who is a collegue of Tonis back in Manila. They have been very helpful in more ways than one. And now they have their own precious Selena.
I salute people like them, who are always willing to lend a hand. This is the first time I have lived outside the Philippines and I am a bit culture shocked, not by the Finnish people but the Filipino people who lives here. I am saddened by the fact that there really are Pinoys that would put other Pinoys down. I have been a witness to how some Pinoys who lives in Helsinki actually looks down on other Pinoys who lives outside the capital city. I am not saying that they are all like that. But there are a few in existence.
When I first came here, I was pregnant, cold, hungry for Pinoy home cooked meals, friendless, alone, away from family, and very, very lonely. Yes i have Toni and his sister. But its still different. Nena came to Finland almost on my last tri mester. And we didn't even see each other until 4 days after I gave birth. So now that Valerie is in the same position as I was two years ago, its my turn to help her out. I will try to help her ease out her post pregnancy blues, hormonal imbalances, and so on. She gave birth today via CS to a healthy baby girl. And I will see them tom. I want to give back what I got when I was the one suffering, and I will try to give more. Because shes a Filipino, and I am a Filipino.
By the way, we had a very good lunch. It was pumpkin and potato soup. Boil one kilo of cubed pumpkin, and ½ kilo of peeled, cubed potatoes. When soft enough, drain and put them in your blender in batches. Be very careful. Make sure that the lid is open a crack on the side that is not facing you. I use this Braun probe especially made for pureeing food. In a casserole, heat up 2 tbsp. of olive oil. Fry ½ cup of chopped bacon, when crispy, add 1 tbsp. of chopped garlic and ½ cup of chopped onion. Add 1 cup of cubed chicken or 1 cup of ground beef. Saute until the meat is done. Add the potato and pumpkin puree. Add ½ cup of water and bring to a boil on medium heat. Again be very careful because it bubbles up. you don't wanna get burned by a very hot soup. When it boils, turn off the heat and add 1 cup of low fat cream and mix. Add 1 tsp of Italian seasoning, 10 fresh basil leaves (if fresh is not available, then put ½ tsp of dried basil instead), 1 tsp of salt (herbal salt if possible). Sprinkle some fresh gorund black pepper before serving. This is really good with garlic baguette. Healthy and enjoyable.
Biyaheng Tampere.....
Written on October 19, 2005
Since I don't have work hours yet again, Toni and I decided to go to the center and get a gift for Nena, who will celebrate her birthday on Friday.
Tampere is a big City, but very laid back. Its even bigger than Helsinki, but the life is not as hurried. Theres just enough number of malls. But not enough shoes selection. Well, girls can't have enough shoes anyway. They have decent clothings but again, not enough selection. Its like every other 50th girl has the same blouse as yours.
Theres a very good Asian shop that sells Jasmine rice for about €1.05 a kilo (go get a calculator - Php67.00), a lot of spices, fresh tofu, sometimes fresh veggies, frozen seafoods, noodles, and even candies. I go there at least every 2 weeks to get my kikkoman, kropek, lumpia wrapper, Mama Sita's BBQ marinades, and sinigang mix. Theres also an Egyptian shop that sells frozen Tilapia. Of course its not as good as the ones you buy from your "suking palengke", but its good enough. For a bit there, it taste like home.
There is also a "palengke" here and they call it KauppaHalli. Where you can find fresh beef, pork, lamb, fishes, and veggies. I know what you're thinking, no its not as "mabaho" as in Alabang Market. Its quite clean and not smelly at all. If you're lucky, you can find one fly during the summer.
Night life is almost the same as the next European City. Only the bars closes very early. And no, there's no such thing as "Open 24 hours" here in Finland. But I guess what's really amazing here is the people. They maybe shy and not at all sociable, but they are very honest and helpful people. You can go by public transport in the wee hours without worrying about safety. Which is not a good thing to do back in Manila. Taxi's are very expensive though, but rest assured the driver passed the driving test and will not steal from you. Flag down starts at €7.50 (calculator again - Php 502.00).
Oh well, there's no place like home. I would still want to be born in the Philippines. I am patriotic indeed!!! Shoes, clothes, food and booze are cheap, and where all the girls are pretty. And as the song goes...
Hinahanap-hanap kita Manila
Ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tenga
Mga jeepney mong nagliliparan
Mga babae mong naggagandahan
Take me back in your arms Manila
and promise me you'll never let go
Promise me you'll never let go
Since I don't have work hours yet again, Toni and I decided to go to the center and get a gift for Nena, who will celebrate her birthday on Friday.
Tampere is a big City, but very laid back. Its even bigger than Helsinki, but the life is not as hurried. Theres just enough number of malls. But not enough shoes selection. Well, girls can't have enough shoes anyway. They have decent clothings but again, not enough selection. Its like every other 50th girl has the same blouse as yours.
Theres a very good Asian shop that sells Jasmine rice for about €1.05 a kilo (go get a calculator - Php67.00), a lot of spices, fresh tofu, sometimes fresh veggies, frozen seafoods, noodles, and even candies. I go there at least every 2 weeks to get my kikkoman, kropek, lumpia wrapper, Mama Sita's BBQ marinades, and sinigang mix. Theres also an Egyptian shop that sells frozen Tilapia. Of course its not as good as the ones you buy from your "suking palengke", but its good enough. For a bit there, it taste like home.
There is also a "palengke" here and they call it KauppaHalli. Where you can find fresh beef, pork, lamb, fishes, and veggies. I know what you're thinking, no its not as "mabaho" as in Alabang Market. Its quite clean and not smelly at all. If you're lucky, you can find one fly during the summer.
Night life is almost the same as the next European City. Only the bars closes very early. And no, there's no such thing as "Open 24 hours" here in Finland. But I guess what's really amazing here is the people. They maybe shy and not at all sociable, but they are very honest and helpful people. You can go by public transport in the wee hours without worrying about safety. Which is not a good thing to do back in Manila. Taxi's are very expensive though, but rest assured the driver passed the driving test and will not steal from you. Flag down starts at €7.50 (calculator again - Php 502.00).
Oh well, there's no place like home. I would still want to be born in the Philippines. I am patriotic indeed!!! Shoes, clothes, food and booze are cheap, and where all the girls are pretty. And as the song goes...
Hinahanap-hanap kita Manila
Ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tenga
Mga jeepney mong nagliliparan
Mga babae mong naggagandahan
Take me back in your arms Manila
and promise me you'll never let go
Promise me you'll never let go
Bumming around!
Written on October 18, 2005
I have been home since Wednesday, Oct. 12th. I have not worked. Coz there isn't anything to do at the office. Well, of course I'd rather go to work. But I didn't get any work hours.
And since am just home, I have noticed that there are a lot of things to be done at home. That in recent months of hurried life, I never had a the chance to check my kitchen cabinet for any expired food that needs to be thrown out. Breads that was pushed to the very back with some penicillin growing on it. Opened sachets of spices that needs to be placed in bottles. Half pack of chocolates and chips and biscuits. Empty bottles of soy sauce! And the list goes on. I have always been neat when I was younger, but since Toni and I moved in together, theres really no reason to slave myself and clean up after him. What with the addition of Ria, the house could be clean for a maximum of 30 minutes, and I assure you, as soon as you turn your back, its the same chaotic place as when you started.
I dont complain anymore. I just make sure that my kitchen is always clean before I go to bed, and that all of Ria's toys are in her bedroom, am fine. Although I still get a bit furious when I see Toni's socks on the floor.
On Monday, I had an impromptu dinner with Alexandra, Sylwia and Pawel. We had Crabs, shrimps and springrolls. Put 2 kilos of crabs in a big pot (preferably cut in the middle, claws cracked) Add about 1½ cup of sprite and put on high heat until theres only about 1/4 cup of liquid in the pot. Add 4 tbsp butter, 2 tbsp of chopped garlic and 2 tsps salt. Cook for 10 minutes in medium heat. Add ½ cup of sweet chili sauce and cook for 10 more minutes. Before serving, sprinkle 3 tbsp of chopped onion grass (chives). Enjoy!
I have been home since Wednesday, Oct. 12th. I have not worked. Coz there isn't anything to do at the office. Well, of course I'd rather go to work. But I didn't get any work hours.
And since am just home, I have noticed that there are a lot of things to be done at home. That in recent months of hurried life, I never had a the chance to check my kitchen cabinet for any expired food that needs to be thrown out. Breads that was pushed to the very back with some penicillin growing on it. Opened sachets of spices that needs to be placed in bottles. Half pack of chocolates and chips and biscuits. Empty bottles of soy sauce! And the list goes on. I have always been neat when I was younger, but since Toni and I moved in together, theres really no reason to slave myself and clean up after him. What with the addition of Ria, the house could be clean for a maximum of 30 minutes, and I assure you, as soon as you turn your back, its the same chaotic place as when you started.
I dont complain anymore. I just make sure that my kitchen is always clean before I go to bed, and that all of Ria's toys are in her bedroom, am fine. Although I still get a bit furious when I see Toni's socks on the floor.
On Monday, I had an impromptu dinner with Alexandra, Sylwia and Pawel. We had Crabs, shrimps and springrolls. Put 2 kilos of crabs in a big pot (preferably cut in the middle, claws cracked) Add about 1½ cup of sprite and put on high heat until theres only about 1/4 cup of liquid in the pot. Add 4 tbsp butter, 2 tbsp of chopped garlic and 2 tsps salt. Cook for 10 minutes in medium heat. Add ½ cup of sweet chili sauce and cook for 10 more minutes. Before serving, sprinkle 3 tbsp of chopped onion grass (chives). Enjoy!
Sari Saring Feelings...
written on October 7, 2005
I was just reading my cousins blog, and I was moved to tears. I know how her father left them when we were kids. I know that it was of course painful when you don't understand whats going on. I still don't. But when I read her blogs, I felt so proud of her. That although she has forgiven her father, she didn't forget.... didn't forget to pray for him. A toast for Jackie... a rock glass (of course with ice), 1 1/2 oz. Whiskey or Bourbon, 3/4 oz. Sweet Vermouth, Garnish with a Lemon twist.
I've been reading a lot of the blogs lately, and I felt so familiar with the pains and joys of my friends. How Dang felt so alone after she moved to Cali from Manila, how Kasia felt strange going back to Poland after staying in Finland, and a lot of other heartaches about life. Made me realize, I have easier pains, and I shouldn't complain so much.
But life in general is getting tougher and tougher. Company's are downsizing, merging, whatever. I was just watching "In Good Company" a few days ago, well mainly because I like Topher Grace from the 70's show. Anyways, what happened in the movie is something real. And this is a crucial time in our lives. Even here in Finland, I have been in the same company for 13 months, and we have merged with another company, and been bought by another company, all in a span of 1 year. Am glad that my company still needs me, and my ability to speak TAGALOG. Yes! Just because I can read and write in Tagalog, I have a job.
I phoned my mom yesterday, and she said that there are a lot of kids in the Philippines who didn't enroll this year. They are left with no choice but to sell Sampaguita on the streets just so they could eat. And some of those kids who used to go to private schools, now enrolled to public schools. It is such a pity that kids has to suffer. They are the future so as the song says. But if we dont educate our kids, there is no future.
Am sad....
I was just reading my cousins blog, and I was moved to tears. I know how her father left them when we were kids. I know that it was of course painful when you don't understand whats going on. I still don't. But when I read her blogs, I felt so proud of her. That although she has forgiven her father, she didn't forget.... didn't forget to pray for him. A toast for Jackie... a rock glass (of course with ice), 1 1/2 oz. Whiskey or Bourbon, 3/4 oz. Sweet Vermouth, Garnish with a Lemon twist.
I've been reading a lot of the blogs lately, and I felt so familiar with the pains and joys of my friends. How Dang felt so alone after she moved to Cali from Manila, how Kasia felt strange going back to Poland after staying in Finland, and a lot of other heartaches about life. Made me realize, I have easier pains, and I shouldn't complain so much.
But life in general is getting tougher and tougher. Company's are downsizing, merging, whatever. I was just watching "In Good Company" a few days ago, well mainly because I like Topher Grace from the 70's show. Anyways, what happened in the movie is something real. And this is a crucial time in our lives. Even here in Finland, I have been in the same company for 13 months, and we have merged with another company, and been bought by another company, all in a span of 1 year. Am glad that my company still needs me, and my ability to speak TAGALOG. Yes! Just because I can read and write in Tagalog, I have a job.
I phoned my mom yesterday, and she said that there are a lot of kids in the Philippines who didn't enroll this year. They are left with no choice but to sell Sampaguita on the streets just so they could eat. And some of those kids who used to go to private schools, now enrolled to public schools. It is such a pity that kids has to suffer. They are the future so as the song says. But if we dont educate our kids, there is no future.
Am sad....
I will survive!
Written on October 5th, 2008
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Done with the second day, it went smoothly apart from the fact that I did not receive any emails for the first half of the day. And it sucks. But I will survive!!! Am a survivor.
I've made peace with myself today and it was a very good one. I now realized that I should make the most of whats in store for me in this new department. Maybe there is an important reason why I was put by my Great Daddy (in heaven) in this office. My destiny perhaps?
And to add to that, I have forgiven an enemy. What a great way to start a new office life!
Today, I found out that there were some people who does care. There are humans breathing the same recycled air in that office as me. I just wish that its not "ningas kugon". I hope they will continue to care until the lights are permanently out.
Having Thierry there is really making everything enjoyable. It turned out, he likes my Cafe Del Mar CD's. So tom, I will bring some more for him. But smoking is getting really annoying, coz I always have to walk to the old building to smoke with Magda. But it was nice to smoke with Magda, and she brings Cutie Sanella along... ;)
And to vent out the rest of my anger, I went to gym and spent 2 rounds of my training program. And since I am a bit tired, I didn't need a drink. But I cooked some food for my lunch tomorrow with Alex and Catherine. Boil 2½ dl of water in a pan, with 1 tsp. salt and 2 tsps. olive oil. Add 2 tbsp, chopped onion, 1 med tomato, chopped, and 2½ dl of couscous. Turn off heat. Cover the pan for 3 minutes. Add 2 tbsp. butter and separate the couscous with a fork. Add chopped, cooked chicken breast and cubed, cooked eggplant. Delicious and healthy.
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Done with the second day, it went smoothly apart from the fact that I did not receive any emails for the first half of the day. And it sucks. But I will survive!!! Am a survivor.
I've made peace with myself today and it was a very good one. I now realized that I should make the most of whats in store for me in this new department. Maybe there is an important reason why I was put by my Great Daddy (in heaven) in this office. My destiny perhaps?
And to add to that, I have forgiven an enemy. What a great way to start a new office life!
Today, I found out that there were some people who does care. There are humans breathing the same recycled air in that office as me. I just wish that its not "ningas kugon". I hope they will continue to care until the lights are permanently out.
Having Thierry there is really making everything enjoyable. It turned out, he likes my Cafe Del Mar CD's. So tom, I will bring some more for him. But smoking is getting really annoying, coz I always have to walk to the old building to smoke with Magda. But it was nice to smoke with Magda, and she brings Cutie Sanella along... ;)
And to vent out the rest of my anger, I went to gym and spent 2 rounds of my training program. And since I am a bit tired, I didn't need a drink. But I cooked some food for my lunch tomorrow with Alex and Catherine. Boil 2½ dl of water in a pan, with 1 tsp. salt and 2 tsps. olive oil. Add 2 tbsp, chopped onion, 1 med tomato, chopped, and 2½ dl of couscous. Turn off heat. Cover the pan for 3 minutes. Add 2 tbsp. butter and separate the couscous with a fork. Add chopped, cooked chicken breast and cubed, cooked eggplant. Delicious and healthy.
New girl... coming through!
Written on October 4, 2005
What a stressful day this has been!!! Twas my first day at the new department at the same company. I had to get my own CPU, and set up my own workstation.... This is not the usual protocol. But I tried to understand that one of the IT people was on sick leave. Still, nobody even checked if I had everything that I need to be able to work. Am so very pissed off. And sad that a lot of the people went thru the same shithole. Nobody even bothered to ask if I was coping up. I was on the verge of shouting and screaming at the top of my lungs. Good thing Thierry was there sitting right next to me and made the day a lil bit more enjoyable. Thanks to Ove who was at least patient with me, eventhough he was busy. Thanks to Daddy Nik who set up my notes. Thanks to Deepa, who at least tried to make my macros work. Thanks to Michael who finally made my macros work. Thanks to Mama Mia, who tried to help. And thanks to Thierry who smoked with me (eventhough he shouldn't). A special thanks to Wei Yu for doing a favor fixing my stupidity!!!
Am so sad that my taxes are so high, and I am not gonna get any working hours for next week. How am I going to support my growing girl???
Yes, this has been a very stressful day indeed.
Thank you to my lil precious Ria, for making me smile when she saw me picking her up. Thank you to my beloved Toni for listening to my ramblings about work, that I even forgot to ask him how his day was, and for fixing me a drink. (Martini glass. In a shaker, put 5 ice cubes, 1 jigger of Vodka, 2 calamansi juice or juice of half lime, 2 jiggers of cranberry juice, 1 sugar cube. Shake it and pour onto the martini glass, top with a cherry) Not a day for cheering, but am looking forward to my 2nd day. Hell yeah! lets freaking drink to that 2nd day....
What a stressful day this has been!!! Twas my first day at the new department at the same company. I had to get my own CPU, and set up my own workstation.... This is not the usual protocol. But I tried to understand that one of the IT people was on sick leave. Still, nobody even checked if I had everything that I need to be able to work. Am so very pissed off. And sad that a lot of the people went thru the same shithole. Nobody even bothered to ask if I was coping up. I was on the verge of shouting and screaming at the top of my lungs. Good thing Thierry was there sitting right next to me and made the day a lil bit more enjoyable. Thanks to Ove who was at least patient with me, eventhough he was busy. Thanks to Daddy Nik who set up my notes. Thanks to Deepa, who at least tried to make my macros work. Thanks to Michael who finally made my macros work. Thanks to Mama Mia, who tried to help. And thanks to Thierry who smoked with me (eventhough he shouldn't). A special thanks to Wei Yu for doing a favor fixing my stupidity!!!
Am so sad that my taxes are so high, and I am not gonna get any working hours for next week. How am I going to support my growing girl???
Yes, this has been a very stressful day indeed.
Thank you to my lil precious Ria, for making me smile when she saw me picking her up. Thank you to my beloved Toni for listening to my ramblings about work, that I even forgot to ask him how his day was, and for fixing me a drink. (Martini glass. In a shaker, put 5 ice cubes, 1 jigger of Vodka, 2 calamansi juice or juice of half lime, 2 jiggers of cranberry juice, 1 sugar cube. Shake it and pour onto the martini glass, top with a cherry) Not a day for cheering, but am looking forward to my 2nd day. Hell yeah! lets freaking drink to that 2nd day....
an ending....
Written on October 2, 2005
Friday, September 30, 2005. It finally ended. My department for the last 13 months. A second home. My family here in Tampere. With the closing of the project, comes the beginning of my NEW department. Let me tell you something, in this world of uncertainties, you rely on a safety net called home. But am away from home. I found solace on the faces of strangers who would later on become my confidantes. I am still in a state of denial that some of these people I call friends has already left. But am still hoping against all hope, that they will find their way back home. For now, I bid them good luck.
I wish to find the same warmth in my new home. I guess it will be ok.
Another drink, 8oz. glass, 5 ice cubes, 2 jiggers of Jack Daniels, fill it up with coke, a slice of lime on top! Lets fucking drink to that!!!
Friday, September 30, 2005. It finally ended. My department for the last 13 months. A second home. My family here in Tampere. With the closing of the project, comes the beginning of my NEW department. Let me tell you something, in this world of uncertainties, you rely on a safety net called home. But am away from home. I found solace on the faces of strangers who would later on become my confidantes. I am still in a state of denial that some of these people I call friends has already left. But am still hoping against all hope, that they will find their way back home. For now, I bid them good luck.
I wish to find the same warmth in my new home. I guess it will be ok.
Another drink, 8oz. glass, 5 ice cubes, 2 jiggers of Jack Daniels, fill it up with coke, a slice of lime on top! Lets fucking drink to that!!!
I was just here...
Written on September 30, 2005
Living in a different country may seem adventurous to some. For me, there's this certain tinge of pain that comes with it. Being in Tampere has taught me a lot of things about life, friendship, family and most especially myself. Here, I don't have mommy and daddy to run to when I fall off a bicycle. And the friends you make, becomes your family. You become so attached to them that you can almost feel their happiness, success, triumphs, and unfortunately their pain. But this is what you have. If you really care for your friends, then you pay the price.
When I left Manila, I know that I was leaving my friends, my way of life, my culture, and most especially my family. I know what am getting myself into. Oh hell yeah! But its the tiny pebbles that I picked up on the way that will make my journey colorful yet uncertain. The friends here and there that you make as you walk along, makes the unbearable, bearable.
I have guarded my emotions so well, that only my closest friends know how warm I am inside. When I said goodbye to Krys, my bestfriend, I cried a river. Yes! I can cry. am capable of shedding tears over my friends. When I started at LionBridge, I didn't know I'd be so close yet again to a couple of people that would soon find another path away from Tampere. I cried when Katsu left for Australia, I cried when Steinar left for Africa, and I cried when Kasia left for Poland. I still got Alex, and thank God I still have Alex.
Now I know how it feels to be left behind, just like what I did to my friends and family back home. Where was I? I was just here.....
As I write, am thinking of getting another drink... half a glass of cranberry juice, 5 ice cubes, 2 jiggers of Absolute Raspberry, with a splash of sprite. Hmmm, refreshing....... Lets drink to that.
Living in a different country may seem adventurous to some. For me, there's this certain tinge of pain that comes with it. Being in Tampere has taught me a lot of things about life, friendship, family and most especially myself. Here, I don't have mommy and daddy to run to when I fall off a bicycle. And the friends you make, becomes your family. You become so attached to them that you can almost feel their happiness, success, triumphs, and unfortunately their pain. But this is what you have. If you really care for your friends, then you pay the price.
When I left Manila, I know that I was leaving my friends, my way of life, my culture, and most especially my family. I know what am getting myself into. Oh hell yeah! But its the tiny pebbles that I picked up on the way that will make my journey colorful yet uncertain. The friends here and there that you make as you walk along, makes the unbearable, bearable.
I have guarded my emotions so well, that only my closest friends know how warm I am inside. When I said goodbye to Krys, my bestfriend, I cried a river. Yes! I can cry. am capable of shedding tears over my friends. When I started at LionBridge, I didn't know I'd be so close yet again to a couple of people that would soon find another path away from Tampere. I cried when Katsu left for Australia, I cried when Steinar left for Africa, and I cried when Kasia left for Poland. I still got Alex, and thank God I still have Alex.
Now I know how it feels to be left behind, just like what I did to my friends and family back home. Where was I? I was just here.....
As I write, am thinking of getting another drink... half a glass of cranberry juice, 5 ice cubes, 2 jiggers of Absolute Raspberry, with a splash of sprite. Hmmm, refreshing....... Lets drink to that.
Motherhood continued....
written May 20, 2005
So you think that when the room swirls and your stomach just wants to crawl out of your mouth, you can stop it by steadying yourself. Not really. As soon as I learned I was pregnant, I was running to the bookstore on "how to" tips. Some say that you should eat a cracker before you get out of bed, (damn, no can do...) others asks you to pop a pill to stop the nauseous feeling. But I think, the joys of being pregnant will not be complete if you do not experience the pain - and yes, the swelling of your toes and fingers - that comes with it.
It would have been easier I guess, if I was not leaving home to stay in a different country. No Mommy and Daddy by my side. Different language, different culture. And to make things worst, -28 degs. C. My ref doesn't even go down to -10! So I flew from the beautiful Island of Boracay-take note, 39 degs C.- to the Land where Santa Claus lives. We arrived at Helsinki airport on December 22nd, 2002, My bag packed with all the pregnancy books I could find. What made the difficulty a notch higher is the fact that I only obtained a tourist visa from Manila before we left. I couldn't get a free maternity check-up. I had to register first from the Registration Office, get a social security number and get a KELA card. (Similar to the card that they want to implement in the Phils. where you can get free hospital benefits and discounts on medicine).
Getting the residential permit was another story. Toni and I had to submit loads of papers and letters proving that we indeed lived together and that Toni will take all responsibility for the unborn child.
After 4 agonizing months, the wait was over. I got the Kela card and my A status visa, which will give me the same benefits that citizens receives. Maternity allowance (yes, just because you are pregnant and couldn't work), free education, student allowance, unemployment allowance, and since this country is a European Union member, I can travel to all other EU countries without ever needing a separate visa.
As my tummy grows, so is the anxiety of actually having a tiny lil person that I will need to take care of. So Toni and I started to buy the baby stuff. We had no idea of the baby's gender so we couldn't decide on a motiff. We did wanted to check the gender, but here, they don't encourage you to know it beforehand - or maybe they are just afraid to make mistakes if they assume the gender even through ultrasound.
So you think that when the room swirls and your stomach just wants to crawl out of your mouth, you can stop it by steadying yourself. Not really. As soon as I learned I was pregnant, I was running to the bookstore on "how to" tips. Some say that you should eat a cracker before you get out of bed, (damn, no can do...) others asks you to pop a pill to stop the nauseous feeling. But I think, the joys of being pregnant will not be complete if you do not experience the pain - and yes, the swelling of your toes and fingers - that comes with it.
It would have been easier I guess, if I was not leaving home to stay in a different country. No Mommy and Daddy by my side. Different language, different culture. And to make things worst, -28 degs. C. My ref doesn't even go down to -10! So I flew from the beautiful Island of Boracay-take note, 39 degs C.- to the Land where Santa Claus lives. We arrived at Helsinki airport on December 22nd, 2002, My bag packed with all the pregnancy books I could find. What made the difficulty a notch higher is the fact that I only obtained a tourist visa from Manila before we left. I couldn't get a free maternity check-up. I had to register first from the Registration Office, get a social security number and get a KELA card. (Similar to the card that they want to implement in the Phils. where you can get free hospital benefits and discounts on medicine).
Getting the residential permit was another story. Toni and I had to submit loads of papers and letters proving that we indeed lived together and that Toni will take all responsibility for the unborn child.
After 4 agonizing months, the wait was over. I got the Kela card and my A status visa, which will give me the same benefits that citizens receives. Maternity allowance (yes, just because you are pregnant and couldn't work), free education, student allowance, unemployment allowance, and since this country is a European Union member, I can travel to all other EU countries without ever needing a separate visa.
As my tummy grows, so is the anxiety of actually having a tiny lil person that I will need to take care of. So Toni and I started to buy the baby stuff. We had no idea of the baby's gender so we couldn't decide on a motiff. We did wanted to check the gender, but here, they don't encourage you to know it beforehand - or maybe they are just afraid to make mistakes if they assume the gender even through ultrasound.
Journey to Motherhood!!!
Written on May 11, 2005
Motherhood! Oh yes. This word has been repeatedly if not redundantly described and used. But really, you'll never know for sure what it means till you become a mom.
I was once the life of the party. And I still am from time to time. I've worked with the most talented and skillful working class in the restaurant business, and have brushed shoulders with the high society crowd (them being the guests in the restaurants I've worked at). And I did have the time of my life. And it was exhilarating. Time flies so fast. When youre young and single, you are as carefree as a butterfly. Until someone snatches you out to reality.
Four years ago, I met a young Finnish guy who was working at a global telecommunications company in Manila. I was managing an Irish pub and he was a regular guest. Little did I know that apart from the Guiness beer our pub serves, he actually comes to see me. It didnt take me long to realize that Toni is quite a nice guy. More than kind compared to average Pinoy. No insecurities, and a lil less jealousy.
We soon began dating and eventually lived together in an apartment in the city center. Being a Filipina and raised as a Catholic, I know my parents will disagree big time to my living with a guy whom I am not married to, and, a foreigner. I had to buy some time. I made an appointment for my dad and Toni to meet at the pub just to ease him in. And so they did. I have to get my dad on my side first, because I know my mom will be the difficult part of the journey. Several weeks after, I arranged a swimming picnic with my dad, my mom, my grandma, my bestfriend, Toni and me. I still dont know how my mom would react to it, so I didnt tell them yet that we are living together.
A year and a half past, and Toni realized his passion for building guitar. So he went back to Finland and applied for a guitar building course. Although I want him to pursue his passion, the lil devil inside me hoped that he will not get in the school. But of course he did, and we started packing our stuff. Went through all the issues of obtaining visa and tickets, travel insurance and so on and so forth. A month before our departure, we stayed in Boracay. First, the rent was cheaper than the condo unit back in Makati, the air is fresher, food is great, beach everyday. We needed to do some detox of the hurried life, pollution, and plain stresses by the city.
December 5th, 2002, I told Toni I dont want to smoke anymore. I gave him my last pack and asked him to finish it if he wants. Next day, I started feeling nauseous. And I felt bloated. I called up Dr. Girlie and asked for a preggy kit. Toni went to the gym as he usually does everyday since coming to the Island. Two hours later, I dropped my liquid down the tube of the kit and it didn't take two minutes for it to turn pink. A lil bun is baking in the oven. I cannot explain how I felt that day. I am so elated, and yet reserved coz I dont know how Toni would react to it. Will he tell me to get rid of it? I had no idea. But I called him anyway. His response? "Are you sure?..... I don't know what to say. Am speechless. In a very happy way."
Second call was to my mom. All she said was, "I told you. I have been telling you that you are pregnant for the last 2 weeks."
Third call was to my bestfriend, who was in Los Angeles. I had to wake her up. I didn't care what time it was there. I just have to tell her. And she was overjoyed. Like as if shes the one having the baby. First sound that came out of her mouth is somewhat between a squeal and a laugh. I wasn't quite sure what came first.
And so the journey to motherhood begins.
Motherhood! Oh yes. This word has been repeatedly if not redundantly described and used. But really, you'll never know for sure what it means till you become a mom.
I was once the life of the party. And I still am from time to time. I've worked with the most talented and skillful working class in the restaurant business, and have brushed shoulders with the high society crowd (them being the guests in the restaurants I've worked at). And I did have the time of my life. And it was exhilarating. Time flies so fast. When youre young and single, you are as carefree as a butterfly. Until someone snatches you out to reality.
Four years ago, I met a young Finnish guy who was working at a global telecommunications company in Manila. I was managing an Irish pub and he was a regular guest. Little did I know that apart from the Guiness beer our pub serves, he actually comes to see me. It didnt take me long to realize that Toni is quite a nice guy. More than kind compared to average Pinoy. No insecurities, and a lil less jealousy.
We soon began dating and eventually lived together in an apartment in the city center. Being a Filipina and raised as a Catholic, I know my parents will disagree big time to my living with a guy whom I am not married to, and, a foreigner. I had to buy some time. I made an appointment for my dad and Toni to meet at the pub just to ease him in. And so they did. I have to get my dad on my side first, because I know my mom will be the difficult part of the journey. Several weeks after, I arranged a swimming picnic with my dad, my mom, my grandma, my bestfriend, Toni and me. I still dont know how my mom would react to it, so I didnt tell them yet that we are living together.
A year and a half past, and Toni realized his passion for building guitar. So he went back to Finland and applied for a guitar building course. Although I want him to pursue his passion, the lil devil inside me hoped that he will not get in the school. But of course he did, and we started packing our stuff. Went through all the issues of obtaining visa and tickets, travel insurance and so on and so forth. A month before our departure, we stayed in Boracay. First, the rent was cheaper than the condo unit back in Makati, the air is fresher, food is great, beach everyday. We needed to do some detox of the hurried life, pollution, and plain stresses by the city.
December 5th, 2002, I told Toni I dont want to smoke anymore. I gave him my last pack and asked him to finish it if he wants. Next day, I started feeling nauseous. And I felt bloated. I called up Dr. Girlie and asked for a preggy kit. Toni went to the gym as he usually does everyday since coming to the Island. Two hours later, I dropped my liquid down the tube of the kit and it didn't take two minutes for it to turn pink. A lil bun is baking in the oven. I cannot explain how I felt that day. I am so elated, and yet reserved coz I dont know how Toni would react to it. Will he tell me to get rid of it? I had no idea. But I called him anyway. His response? "Are you sure?..... I don't know what to say. Am speechless. In a very happy way."
Second call was to my mom. All she said was, "I told you. I have been telling you that you are pregnant for the last 2 weeks."
Third call was to my bestfriend, who was in Los Angeles. I had to wake her up. I didn't care what time it was there. I just have to tell her. And she was overjoyed. Like as if shes the one having the baby. First sound that came out of her mouth is somewhat between a squeal and a laugh. I wasn't quite sure what came first.
And so the journey to motherhood begins.
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